Download e-book for kindle: A Zombie's History of the United States: From the Massacre by Josh Miller

By Josh Miller

ISBN-10: 1569758603

ISBN-13: 9781569758601

Americans were taught that their country is civilized and humane. yet, too frequently, U.S. activities were uncivilized and inhumane.
—Howard Zinn

Shedding mild on 500 years of suppression, this surprising exposé finds the pivotal position in American background performed via its such a lot invisible minority—zombies.

From colonization and revolution to international Wars and worldwide hegemony, A Zombie’s historical past of the United States tells the strong and relocating tales of this country’s living-dead underclass, including:

•The zombie bloodbath of ecu colonists at Plymouth Rock

•The ugly killing of a zombinated Meriwether Lewis by means of his fellow explorer William Clark

•The doomed safety of the Alamo opposed to hordes of the attacking undead

•The heroic, platoon-saving cost right into a hail of German hearth via an undead Lt. Audie Murphy

•The top-secret NASA missions that launched(and frequently misplaced) zombies into space

•The anti-terrorist software to prevent the weaponization of the zombie virus

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Extra resources for A Zombie's History of the United States: From the Massacre at Plymouth Rock to the CIA's Secret War on the Undead

Sample text

Things were not going well for Gen. Ewing either. Foul weather and ice jams on the river prevented him from even attempting a crossing below Trenton, but at least there were no zombies. Zombies soon found their way to Knox and his men. The huge chunks of ice floating in the river made it all the easier for the zombies to reach the men in the boats. Many of the men were unable to swim, which made the icy water just as treacherous as the encroaching undead. Forbade to discharge their firearms as well, the soldiers were forced to 47 A Zombie’s History of tHe United stAtes chop at the zombies with their knives, swords, and bayonets to prevent them from climbing into the boats.

New Yorker Cadwallader Caulden, in his Address to the Freeholders in 1747, attacked the wealthy as tax dodgers unconcerned with the welfare of others and the growing zombie problem. Nathaniel Prestwood, a prominent Virginian tanner, even went so far as to travel to England where he pled directly to King George II for more assistance against the zombies. Prestwood’s efforts, among others, finally led Parliament to pass the Undead Act of 1749. The Undead Act had the opposite effect of appeasing the colonies.

One corpse lay in the hall devoured, and another man had himself become undead. This undead we were able to trap in a room. As none of us were with firearm, we decided that escape was the legitimate move and we made directly for the stairs. Never have I been so frightened as moving through that much too quiet hallway. Where everyone else had gotten to so quickly, we could not say. In my worried haste I stepped to the stairwell without looking and came directly to M de B’s niece! She was upon me and knocked me to the ground before my senses alerted me.

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A Zombie's History of the United States: From the Massacre at Plymouth Rock to the CIA's Secret War on the Undead by Josh Miller

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